Bras–the Final Frontier


The Bra–It’s just a foundational piece, right?

So can you tell which movie we just saw recently, by the title? Ha ha!! (no I’m not a Trekkie, but my husband loves the movies!)

I know you’ve read all the information about the brassiere and everyone has heard the fact that 80% of women wear the wrong bra size. But I’m not here today to expound on the right bra & it’s fit (I did a post many moons ago here on all that jazz if you’re interested).

Let’s talk about other related issues regarding that piece of clothing that can make or break a look!

The Size of bras

One of my pet peeves, is the statement “I wear size yada yada bra”. Because the size of your bra can vary. Bras are no different than clothing and shoes, in the fact that you may wear one size in one brand and another size in a different brand. Even with the same brand, your perfect fit may not correlate to the sizing on the label. (Case in point, my mother and I went to get her a new bra, and she ended up buying two. And even though they were the same brand, the cups sizes were different between the two). I only say this, so we can stop being so caught up in the numbers—what matters is how the piece functions!! Therefore, it’s so, so important to know how to evaluate the fit of your bra!

The Look of bras

If you are over 40, you should have at least one “pretty” bra. Now I realize this is only my opinion, but why not? I’m sure many of us older women, think of a brassiere as a necessity and we don’t appreciate it much. We think of it as that 24 hour support item we used to see advertised—very plain, and very boring! But what if you changed your perception about this item? What if you thought of it as a beautiful piece of architecture that is seen only by private eyes? Would you like it any better? Because part of my purpose in saying this is the fact that we should stop being so embarrassed when it peeks out of our clothing.

Now I know, this could be very controversial among the older generations. We were brought up to think that showing your under clothing was inappropriate. And I’m not proposing that you need to go around with everything exposed. But let’s be realistic. We wear bras. They aren’t icky. What if it peeks out under a strap now and then? Should we really stress about this when there are so many more important issues. Does it really mean you are a bad person?

For example, say you have a fabulous pink top that is cut so that your bra straps show occasionally. Then maybe you invest is a pink bra where the straps have a little design on them (like this one). I realize that $100 can be a lot to pay for a bra for some of you, but if you wear it two days out of every week, then in only one year you are down to $1 per wear, right? And just remember—this is one of those items, that the adage “you get what you pay for” applies!

Thus if you have a pretty bra with pretty straps, maybe you wouldn’t be so uncomfortable on those occasions when it does happen to show?

Other Issues

If you’re not well endowed you could certainly try out a bralette (like this one)! But if you need the support that a bra gives you—how about sewing a piece of lace over top of your existing straps (kinda like this one)? Then it’d be like your camisole is showing instead of your under garment!

How about the dreaded nipples showing through? Does that bother you too? Again…the reality is we were all born with them and they serve an important function. Consequently, they shouldn’t be banned from existence. The fact is if you get a bra that is padded so the nipples don’t show, then it can make you look a little larger—not that either one is bad. But I’d love it if we didn’t have to limit our choices for buying a bra based on the fact that someone might see the outline of the nipple. Besides—people shouldn’t be staring at that part of our anatomy anyways, right? I think it can be our own insecurities that make us too critical of these details.

Just in case #4 is a pet peeve of yours that no one is ever going to change—you do realize there are covers (like this), yes?

In case #2 is never going to change either, have you tried a converting clip (like this)? I realize you can do about the same thing with a safety pin, but this item makes it a little easier!

Anyways, my entire thought in this post was brought about by a couple of discussions with friends and family! It made me examine our beliefs and rules we learned a long time ago. And I have to think the younger generation has got us beat in this thinking—it should be no big deal if someone can see a bra strap or two! And in 50 years it may be as commonplace as seeing ankles (remember–that used to be taboo??)

So tell me—what extremes do you go to in order to make sure your bra doesn’t show? 

Appropriately the styling theme for the week is sheer tops (but no bra straps will be showing—we all wore camisoles under our sheer shirts–ha ha!)

The Facts

Even if you wouldn’t consider purchasing your clothing online, it can be helpful to look through my links to see what is available! It certainly doesn’t hurt my feelings, if you click on them but don’t like them. Just so you know, one of the ways I make money from this blog is through these linked items.

Keeping in Touch

Are you registered for my email reminders to let you know when a post goes live? I’d certainly love it if you take the time to sign up and make sure all your friends sign up too!! There are other ways to follow my blog. Facebook readers can see my posts by liking my page. Or my Pinterest page has all of our outfits in a nutshell! 

And if you’re new to the party, you can always see our outfits organized by categories, here! Don’t forget to check out the deals & discounts

It’s not impossible to shop online for your bras. Just make sure the store’s return policy is easy and order a couple different sizes (just like when you go into the fitting room). It’s nice because you can try it on with that item you want it to match or look good underneath! (And don’t get too frustrated—if they don’t fit—it’s the bra’s fault, not your body—but remember, you might need it altered)


  • Kathleen McDermott

    One pretty bra?? You need many – pretty colors and pretty patterns and lace embellished. Plus, cami-bras with the cami part built right in. I found some at Walmart online. I took a chance and ordered every color since they were so inexpensive. Love them. Perfect for low cut tops where you don’t feel like wearing a bra and a camisole. So pretty for a touch of lace, either matching or contrasting. My collection includes the basic white, nude and black, but also brights and pastels. P.S. If straps are going to peak out they MUST be pretty and color-coordinated. P.P.S. Not comfortable with nipple flash! 😵 Either padding or petals for me.

    • Jodie Filogomo

      I have to admit that I’ve never tried a bralette, Kathleen. I never would have thought that they’d have enough support???
      But how silly of me, I should at least try one and see before I pooh pooh it!!
      My mom and Nancy say the same thing about the nipple flash!!

      • Kathleen McDermott

        Noooo! Not a bralette. I’d only wear those around the house. A cami-bra is a real structured bra with the camisole (lace panel) sewn over the entire front of the bra. Many manufacturers sell them, but for a quick look to see what I mean, look at Angelina Modesty Bras on Walmart online.

        • Jodie Filogomo

          Ahhh…I see! Now that’s brilliant I must say!!

  • Cecile Blaireau

    To me the most important is to have a matching pair! As thing I try to avoide is to wear a drak vra with a white top, especially not a black bra. That’s a massive no no! #overthemoon

    • Jodie Filogomo

      How interesting Cecile!! I don’t think I’ve ever (okay–maybe once or twice) have worn a matching pair. I try to match the colors of my panties to the color of my pants and same for the top.
      It is funny how the things we are taught at a young age stay with us through time, eh?

  • sue

    I enjoy wearing beautiful undergarments Jodie they make a woman feel special. I totally agree about bra sizes varying depending on the style. I must admit though when I’m at home I don’t usually wear one!! Thanks for sharing with us at Over the Moon link up. x

    • Jodie Filogomo

      Oh…I’m with you on going without the pieces around the house—they are not exactly relaxing pieces, right?

  • Kreativk Net

    I really don’t mind my braw looking through, but I do have one tan coloured one for special occasions where I don’t want it to show and it works great.

    • Jodie Filogomo

      It’s so nice that you aren’t ashamed about your bra—we just need to get others to realize it’s not the end of the world!! 🙂

  • SeasonedSistah2

    In my younger years, college, children, children’s college education, career start-up, home purchases, business ventures, etc. etc., I did not have the extra income to splurge on the niceties of lingerie. Now a retired, 74-year-old SeasonedSistah, I have extra income to purchase the nicer bras that I couldn’t afford in my younger years. Also, as a breast cancer survivor, diagnosed in 2008, who underwent a lumpectomy, which resulted in my left breast being significantly smaller than the right. A beautiful, professionally fitted bra makes me feel not only beautiful, but balanced on both sides.

    • Jodie Filogomo

      How absolutely wonderful Yvonne!! And you are beautiful!!
      Do they alter it for you, or do you add in a prosthesis to make them balanced?
      It really is amazing how these items affect our feelings about ourselves.
      I actually think Victoria Secret is a great advancement for the young girls—not that they are always perfectly fit, but they make young girls excited to wear these underlings (instead of some of the first bras I had)!!

  • The title certainly made me chuckle! Couldn’t agree with you more Jodie about sizing even in the same brands. Full cup, balcony, push up, minimiser – I can vary between them all but my biggest problem (and I’m sure I’m not alone in this) is that one of the ‘girls’ is slightly bigger than the other!

    The older I get the less I worry about straps showing and even the more functional bras can actually have quite pretty detailing on the straps so thumbs up from me for both function and aesthetic!

    • Jodie Filogomo

      I can’t believe you’re not symmetrical Jacqueline—-:)
      So do you end up getting your bras altered? I didn’t even realize this could be done until the lady suggested it for my mom!

      • It’s one of the few things that isn’t – ha, ha! Oooh no, I didn’t realise you could do this! I just accommodate for the bigger one – it’s a diva and doesn’t to the squashed in the cup (!) and the smaller one just rattles around in a bigger space!

        • Jodie Filogomo

          :)……The saleslady was saying you can have the cup with the smaller girl taken in so it actually holds her better—isn’t that brilliant?
          Otherwise you could knit a small oval to fit in the space—ha ha!!

  • Bernadette Laganella

    Hi Jodie, thanks for posting this today. I agree completely – one size does not fit all and pretty lingerie should definitely be a part of a woman’s staple of clothing.

    • Jodie Filogomo

      Thanks Bernadette!!

  • Hi Jodie, I don’t really give two hoots if someone doesn’t like my straps showing. I always try to pick a bra that coordinates with the top I’m wearing if I know the straps might show a bit. I have this little skin condition where at times my skin hurts when anything brushes on it so my everyday bras are simple Genie bras which are soft and easier on my skin if I’m having a flare up that day. However, I have seen Bali has a few bras that would be more attractive yet offer me the soft, no binding effect that I need. Thank you so much for sharing with us at #SimplifyWednesdays Pinned, Tweeted, Shared

    Carla a.k.a Mrs. R @

    • Jodie Filogomo

      Good for you for being an owl (hooting you know!)!!
      Thanks for stopping by and giving your voice to the matter!!

  • Stevie Turner

    I like the little sports bras, as I only have two fried eggs…

    • Jodie Filogomo

      Well you lucky girl—then you could easily wear the bralettes for a lacier look!!

      • Stevie Turner

        What a good idea!

  • Amy D. Christensen

    Such a fun post, Jodie. You made me laugh. You are so right about all of it. You have to try bras on as they do not fit all the same way. I think it is sort of like mattress shopping. You really have to try it out to know if it’s going to be a good one. Sometimes a bra I try on at the store feels good, so I buy it, but then when I wear it for a whole day it itches or digs in, etc. So it is important to know brands and what works best for you. My sexy bra right now is leopard print! Meow! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and in such a straight forward and honest way. – Amy

    • Jodie Filogomo

      Oooooh…I love that you have a leopard print one—-I think I need one like that! And you’re totally right—it’s like shoes: they can feel great when trying them on and then after a full day—ugh!!
      But I always say—if this is the worst thing, then my life isn’t so bad!!

  • Great post and I totally agree that all women (regardless of age) should have at least one sexy bra in their arsenal – and you totally justified the cost per wear! I love bralettes – they are so comfortable. Since I practically live in mine, I recently picked up a lace one to avoid feeling like I’m borderline living in a sports bra. 🙂


    • Jodie Filogomo

      It is nice when your bra doesn’t kill you!!
      And might as well have it be a nice looking one, right?

  • Bra is so important. I always struggle with the different sizes too. Gemma x

    • Jodie Filogomo

      At least I’m not the only one!!
      I do have respect for the pieces though—my mom went through a phase of making lingerie many years ago and she tried making a bra—-let’s just say it’s worth spending the money on it!!

  • I agree that sizing can be different from brand to brand. I prefer Victorias Secret as I feel more comfortable in them but good truths in this post.

    Rachel xo

    • Jodie Filogomo

      Thanks Rachel!!

  • Laura

    Yes, sizing can be so off on bras from brand to brand! They are worse than jeans! I don’t necessarily go to extremes to not show bra straps, but my clothing tends to be more modest in general. I don’t worry if anything peeks out. It’d be more shocking if I wasn’t wearing one!

    • Jodie Filogomo

      I think your point is correct—most of our clothing is more modest too—it’s just some of those interesting neckline tops that can cause anxiety!!

  • Terri Webster Schrandt

    I wear sports bras more often than not, and try to wear active wear or shirts that have a shelf bra. I do insert the small pad to cover the dreaded nipple line. When I do wear a “real” bra, I wear Soma with the back fat reducing straps. They really work, and set up so they don’t show under most clothes. Great post, Jodie! Bras can make or break our fashion sense, or at least deter us from being brave. 🙂

    • Jodie Filogomo

      I might have to try that Soma bra! My last one from there wasn’t the greatest—but it was due to my own stubbornness —I was still in that thinking that I only wore a certain size!! Such silliness!!

  • Kristin & Megan

    I’m totally guilty of having a drawer full of nude bras. Haha!

    • Jodie Filogomo

      Really? That’s shocking to me coming from the younger generation!!
      But….the good news…it’s easily remedied !! 🙂

  • Judy Gramith

    Bras are one of those function meets fashion items that we can be extremely rigid about for a variety of reasons. The wrong bra can ruin a terrific outfit. Bras are a lot like shoes with comfort, design, and color all playing a role in perceived wearability. On top of all that there is the fact that they “hold” and potentially enhance or detract from a part of the female body that we have many moral prejudices about.
    We’re doing the best we can despite pressure to be perfect. Straps, nipples, cleavage, back fat bulge, oh my!! Let’s give “the girls” and ourselves a break.

    • Jodie Filogomo

      You’re right—there is a lot of pressure out there. That’s exactly why we need to give ourselves a break!! Perfect way to put it, Jude!!

  • PetiteOver40

    Just the other day, I kept fussing over my bra straps because they were peeking out from a sleeveless top. Perhaps I should have just worn a prettier bra with straps that looked like they were meant to be seen! I’ll have to remember that next time I wear that top!

    As for “headlamps,” I feel self conscious if mine are on full display, so I tend to either wear bras that smooth everything out or, if the bra I’m wearing isn’t padded, I will occasionally add some nipple covers to to keep the world from noticing that part of my anatomy.

    Ultimately, bras are such a final frontier in terms of being one of the last things we talk about, and yet it is one of the most important when it comes to fit and providing the shape we want to see in the mirror. Thank you for bringing this topic into the conversation!

    And, one last thing: Live long and prosper! 🖖 Yay for Trekkies! 🙃


    • Jodie Filogomo

      Your last line made me crack up, girl!!
      It’s funny how the things we are so conscious of, are different for other women and ages!
      Just because I did an entire post on the subject, doesn’t mean I don’t still have a hard time with my bra showing—but I’m trying to put it all into perspective! Like, does it really matter? For some reason, I’ve never worried about the Headlamps as much, but I know mom & Nancy are always concerned about that!
      Thanks for your constant love & sharing!!

  • Jodie, you had me laughing through this post! Love the title. I saw it too recently! Of topic , but good movie! I am one that am not a fan of bras, but yes, they are a necessity. I have to wear the bandeau bra with lace on it, as I can show the lace ( as it looks like a top underneath) and it has no underwire as they are very uncomfortable with the muscle pain I have. Enjoyed reading your tips!
    jess xx

    • Jodie Filogomo

      I think it is easier when you don’t have as much to hold up—-I had to laugh when my cousin suggested the bralettes—I was like, really? But only because they would do nothing for me! But since we are all shaped differently—they could be perfect for others!! Just like those bandeau bras—so cute!
      ps…it was a good movie, huh?

  • Lorena Lorena

    Bras continue to be a tricky issue – as you mention sizes vary according to brand and it seems like it only makes it more difficult to find the right one.

    • Jodie Filogomo

      It is certainly a challenge to find a good fit—-but they certainly get plenty of work!!

  • I remember when I was a teenager, I worked at a lingerie store. One of the things that was so surprising to me was that most women came in wearing the wrong bra. Great post. There’s such a great feeling for me buying special pieces of lingerie./Madison

    • Jodie Filogomo

      That’s exactly it Madison—-it is a special piece and even though many others don’t see it, it can impact us so much!!

  • Mother Daughter

    Jodie I only wish I could find a pretty bra. lol Finding a bra that fits, straps that stay up, and a band that won’t roll is almost impossible. lol When I was younger, and had no back fat, I wore beautiful bras. My lingerie drawer was straight out of Victoria’s Secret, now not so much. Good post it makes me want to eat my Wheaties’ and spend a day bra shopping.

    • Jodie Filogomo

      It can be frustrating…especially because it’s not easy Victoria!!
      But sometimes a specialty bra store can be your answer (I know they are very pricey—but they also help you figure out the correct things to look for on bras—and that information is priceless!)
      Good luck and let me know how it goes!!