Ditch the Age Dress Code and Stand Out

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There’s this unspoken dress code that seems to whisper louder the older we get. It says, “Cover that up,” or “Stick to neutrals,” or “Don’t try too hard.” And while it might be wrapped in phrases like age-appropriate or classic style, I’ve come to realize something that I wish every older woman would shout from the rooftops:

Age is NOT a dress code.

Quote of the day: “You don’t become what you want, you become what you believe.” Oprah Winfrey

Somehow, once we reach a certain milestone, the style world starts handing out rule books, often written in articles titled “Women over a certain age should stop wearing these 10 things.”

How about we tear up that rule book? I know that can be scary, because the truth is, dressing “safe” is safe. The flip side is that hiding our so-called flaws or blending into what’s appropriate can actually be the very thing that makes us feel invisible… and a little bit frumpy too.

I’ve met so many women who say things like:

-I love that bright top, but I couldn’t wear it.
-That piece is sleeveless…I need to cover my bat wings.
-Those shoes are too young for me.

Well, I say let’s toss that kind of dress code out the window, because age isn’t a dress code.
If this resonates with you, you might also be interested in the rules I wished I learned sooner.

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Insider detail: I decided to show a safe vs not-so-safe outfit side by side with the same clothing on the bottom half. While the “safe” outfit is not bad, as we all need a safe outfit from time to time; however, I believe we feel better when we dress our personality vs safe.

The Safe Style Trap

We start covering up skin because it’s not as smooth or firm as it used to be. We reach for darker neutrals because we’re told bright colors are for the young. And we opt for loose silhouettes because we’re afraid to show our shape.

Before we know it, we’ve gone from “safe” to invisible.

The thing is that your style should light you up, not dim your presence.

What Does “Age Appropriate” Even Mean?

Let’s think about it differently…

Have you ever seen someone walking down the street wearing a vibrant color or a playful accessory, and you instantly smile just looking at them? Maybe they’re 25. Heck, maybe they’re 75.

What draws you in isn’t their age, it’s their confidence. It’s the joy radiating from their outfit. It’s the fact that they’re clearly dressing for themselves and loving it.

Now imagine if that same person decided they were “too old” for that outfit. Imagine if they had worn beige slacks, a boxy cardigan, and sensible shoes instead. Would you have even noticed them?

This is what I mean when I say dressing age-appropriately can age you. It’s not that conservative or classic pieces are bad. It’s when we’re dressing from a place of fear, insecurity, or outdated ideas of what’s right for our age that we stop dressing like ourselves.

And that’s what can actually make us look older, not the number on our birth certificate.

The phrase age-appropriate style may be well-meaning, yet if taken too seriously, it could be like a fashion muzzle.

Let’s Talk About Skin

I know the hesitation to show a little shoulder or knee once the skin gets softer and crepier. But here’s the secret: nobody else is as focused on your skin as you are.

Seriously.

The world isn’t walking around with a wrinkle radar or crepe counter. And more importantly, your confidence in what you wear speaks louder than any so-called flaw.

In fact, sometimes showing a little skin is a style tool and can help your proportions as well as make you feel younger.

Don’t believe me? Try it for one day. Wear that off-the-shoulder top or shorter skirt. Add a pop of color to your lips. Then go about your day and see how you feel.

Confidence is the best anti-aging secret there is. And it has nothing to do with covering up.

Here’s the thing: getting older is a gift. So why should we start dressing like we’re apologizing for still being visible?

I believe fashion should be a celebration of your personality, not a cage that keeps you “in line.” And if your personality is vibrant, joyful, creative, sassy, bold, or even a little rebellious, then your style should reflect that.
Think about all the things you had to go through to get to this point. I bet there is some boldness and sass in there somewhere.

Responsibility Doesn’t Mean Boring

Many of us have lived decades of being responsible. It’s easy to start thinking our clothes should reflect all that “grown-up-ness.”

But let me ask you this: Isn’t it okay to be responsible AND have a little fun?

If you love it and if it makes you feel more like you, then it’s the right choice. That’s the only dress code that matters.

What happens when we play it too safe for too long?

We start to blend into the background.

Not because we aren’t vibrant or smart or funny or fabulous, but because we’re afraid of standing out. We’re afraid someone will judge our choices. As someone who’s been judged a bunch on social media, I know this can be scary. Those comments from people we don’t know are nasty and they hurt.

But as you’ve all told me, those people’s opinions don’t matter if I’m happy with what I wear.

So let me say that back to you. Start thinking that your personality is the dress code.

Take fear out of your style decisions.

Dress Code Personality

Think about it. Wouldn’t you rather open your closet and see a collection of pieces that make you feel excited, confident, and alive, rather than just “safe”?

Let’s retire the word “flattering” if it means boring. Let’s stop using “age-appropriate” as a reason to deny ourselves the joy of fashion. And let’s start dressing like women who know that age is just a number, not a dress code.

Instead of trying to match someone else’s idea of what a woman “our age” should wear, why not base your style on who you really are?

Every wrinkle, every gray hair, every birthday is proof that we’ve lived. That we’ve learned, grown, laughed, cried, and survived.

So why not dress like life is worth celebrating? When you see that fabulous clothing item at the store, buy it and then CREATE an occasion to wear it. Or heck, just wear it to the grocery store. And when people stare, consider that a good thing. You are special, so they should stare.

Forget shrinking into the background. Let’s take up space. Let’s walk into a room and make people smile, not because our outfit is “perfect,” but because it’s authentic.

You do not have to dress your age. You get to dress your truth.

And if you liked this type of pep talk, I have written many others:
–Why it’s time to dress loud
–Rethinking flattering
–How to find your uniqueness
–What exactly is frumpy
–Change your closet, change your life
-And one of my favorites-When perfectly imperfect is enough